Landon Donovan appointed new Swansea manager

Swansea City have appointed former USA international Landon Donovan as player-manager. The former Everton player will travel over with his family on Thursday morning and move into temporary accommodation in Mayhill. His 13 year old son Burmingham Donovan has also been appointed as player/assistant manager.

Club owner Steve Kaplin said “Loandon is the greatest footballer that the United States has ever produced and bringing him and Burmingham into the manager and player set-up will work wonders for the Swansea City brand in the United States which was our number one reason for coming to England… I mean Wales”.

Kaplin was upbeat about the state of the club “ten years ago, nobody had heard of Swansea City in Chicago, New York or Washington but now over twelve people have. If it means everyone in Swansea hate football and everything that goes with it for a generation or so then it is a small price to pay for people in America to have heard of your town. Think of the bigger picture!”

Landon was excited about the prospect “I have always been the biggest Swansea City fan ever!”.

Questioned about anger within the Swans fanbase, Kaplin went on to say “Swansea is a effectively a third world country. We can do what the fuck we like and they should be grateful”.

It is thought that Swansea City fans would moan somewhat about things but do absolutely jack shit about it.

This is all made-up…… until it does happen when I deserve credit!