True or False: Players at Resolven AFC have the smallest ‘manly parts’ in the Neath League?

Tonna football club have put secret cameras in their shower rooms in a Welsh government scientific attempt to find whether there is a correlation between men having a small penis and them not being good at football. The results showed that during the 16/17 season on average a player at Resolven football club had the smallest penis. Resolven AFC were relegated that season which shows that such a link could well exist. Ivor Biggan who run the study told us ‘it is too early to read too much into the data, we have to cross analyse everything. Some players are blessed with having extraordinary sized parts and so this can change an average for the entire data. In Resolven’s case for example, there was one poor chappy who’s penis brought the average down considerably’. Clydach Sports topped the league with impressive equipment all round….. The full results are expected to be out later in the year. Incidentally, Tonna were thrown out of the study as they were clearly attempting to manipulate figures by showering in a separate un-filmed shower first and therefore ‘warming up’ before entering the studied showers.

Is this story true or is it false?